Intro to The Roommate Chronicles

Here's what makes me an un-native-New-Yorker, even after 12+ years in the city. It's what I think of as my Chicago "accent" (the "a" must be very nasal or it isn't Chicago). It's the premise I've operated from since I was 3 or 4 — the "Blanche DuBois" syndrome, or "The Kindness of Strangers Principle":

Every stranger I meet or pass on the street anywhere on the planet is just a friend I have not yet met. [Some friends may eventually turn into enemies, of course, but for some reason that doesn't figure into the equation.]

Now, however, I am beginning to think that the word "friend" should be changed to "roommate". Some move in and some don't, but potentially any of them could be sharing space with me. My current apartment is like half-an-ark: one of every human type seems to have passed through it at one time or another, or will some time soon. The difference between me and Noah is that they don't enter in pairs; and they have all been homo sapiens. Also, I don't usually have to clean up their shit with a bucket and mop. Usually.

Forget Will and Grace, however: I'm talking the REAL world. We don't fall in love with roomies, and when we do, it doesn't have a happy ending. They rarely are mentally ill in the exact same ways I am, so of course, communication is often a bit skewed. In fact, even my relationships seem to be nothing more than a variation on a roommate theme. But isn't that the way life is, plain and simple?

I can't believe how many roomies I've had over the years. For someone who's short on living family, I seem to be long on serial flatmates. They're not interchangeable, however. No way! Some of them are seasonal, almost migratory. If they arrive in the fall or winter, they'll take flight in the spring. They can't help it: that's who they are.

When I'm traveling, I'm the migratory one. In Turkey, I shared a flat with Palestinian and Syrian students (male). In Mexico, I commuted between my house in Chiapas and my Masters program in Chicago, until I'd finished my degree. But now I'm the sedentary one.

Stay tuned: I will add additional chapters to some of the incredibly crazy roomies I've had and how glad I am they passed through my life, even when it was only like shooting stars.